So, I totally agree with theSinglewoman she told me that…

Chemistry does not and should not outweigh character. What do I mean by this? My ex and I were never lacking in the chemistry department. So much so that the lightning bolts and rainbows and shooting stars I saw when we kissed often acted as smoke and mirrors to the reality of who I was dating. Chemistry can only take you so far…but it’s much like someone handing you a beautifully wrapped box that’s empty. It doesn’t matter how good and attractive and appealing the exterior looks if there’s absolutely nothing going on beneath the surface.

Love isn’t blind. Love sees your flaws and inadequacies and imperfections and loves you anyway. And love never, ever uses those things against you or cites them as reasons not to be with you. Love is too busy loving the stuffing out of you to even pause to dwell on the flaws. Love recognizes that we are all a little banged up and broken and bruised by the rolls and punches of life and that does not make us unlovable. In fact, I daresay the fact that we are all those things yet still believe in love makes us all the more lovable.

A person who really, truly loves you will always show up for you. They will meet you halfway. Sometimes even more than halfway. Love, as the Bible says, covers a multitude of sins. It doesn’t hesitate or doubt or pause on the shore…it jumps in to meet you right where you’re at. And then it hangs on through the wind and waves and turbulence and refuses to let go just because things get a little uncertain or stormy or shaky. You will never have to exhaust yourself to chase love, manipulate love, force love, beg for love, or even ask for love. Love will be the first one in the door and the last one out. LOVE SHOWS UP.

Ladies, this is a very vital information for you, please…

When it’s over, it’s over. Let it be over. Stop trying to resurrect it. Stop arguing with God about why you should still have it. Stop worrying about what went wrong or torturing yourself about what you could have done differently or better. There is nothing you could have done differently or better. You can’t turn the wrong one into the right one, no matter how hard you try. Take a deep breath, and let go. Cry. Grieve. Give yourself time and space to feel the loss. Acceptance and grace are key here. Allowing yourself to mourn the end is key here. The relationship mattered. Your feelings for the other person were real, and they mattered. Your heartbreak is real, and it matters. But it’s still over. Let it go. And when you’re ready…really ready…try again, with someone new. Don’t allow the loss of one relationship or one broken heart stop you from trying again. Always be willing to try again. Love is worth the risk.

Wonderful Ladies,

You are stronger than you think you are. You can, and will, survive the end of this relationship. And you won’t just survive…you’ll be better and stronger and more fabulous for it. (Even if you can’t see it now.)


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