So, I am doing a lot of studying about relationships, and I am reading lots and lots of books and also visiting lovely websites with wonderful contents. Well, I made a stop at www.womenworking.com today and here’s what I found:
- Mean what you say but don’t say it mean.
Be authentic and direct in your communication. Don’t push something under the rug because you are afraid of the reaction you might get. Couples who stay together deal with those uncomfortable topics that no one really wants to discuss.
- Don’t second-guess your partner.
Take what they say as true unless their actions contradict their words. It is a waste of your energy to doubt, be suspicious, and worry. That energy could be better spent on sharing a fun activity together.
- Pay attention-draw them out.
One of the greatest things you can do for your loved one is to listen to what they have to say without judgment. If that is difficult for you, practice active listening—that is repeating back, word for word, what they have said. This shows that you understood the communication.
- Give space.
We have all heard this, but do we do it enough? Everything does not revolve around you. Encourage them to have outside interests. Although, it might not be something that you enjoy—you can enjoy their telling you about it.
- Find something special about them each day, and share that with them.
For long term relationships, that may be hard because you know the person so well. But truly, everyone is changing all the time. Look for something new about them and you will find it. That’s what makes life exciting. And let them know you see that, everyone likes to be acknowledged. It’s like watering a plant—we all need emotional sustenance.